The Opposite of Fall

Posted on: May 19, 2016


Cara never got used to the uneven cobblestones. This city has been around since 753 BC, you’d think they would have mastered pavement by now. Her thoughts echoed in her mind as she navigated the narrow, sloped alley way. She couldn’t afford another fall. She gripped her messenger bag with one hand, while the other cradled the black knit scarf around her neck. The early morning chill in the March air already had soured her mood.

She emerged from between two brick buildings and noticed that the light above the Pastores’ door was on. I’ll have to remember to check on Signora Pastore tonight. Since moving to Rome eleven months ago, Cara and her husband had become close with their elderly neighbors, Signor and Signora Pastore. Signora Pastore joked that Cara was like the daughter she never had. Their two sons, now grown, had gone to live in America. Cara and Gregory’s presence balanced out their universe.

At the end of their vialetto, Cara exhaled as the sunlight touched her cheeks. Glancing at her watch, she realized that she could slow her pace—a rarity. Morning wasn’t her moment to shine. Though she loved her job, she had not adjusted to the schedule of nine-to-five work and doubted she ever would. Cara’s background in both art history and translation had made her the perfect candidate for her position. Her tiny office at the Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Antica was her sanctuary: by staring at documents related to old things, she could avoid thinking about new ones—or their absence.

                                                                                               ***

Gregory savored the smell of coffee in the morning. He carried a cup to his first class nearly every day and sipped it as his students meandered in. Though Rome reminded him of Manhattan in its aggression and masculinity, the eighteen-year-olds he taught did not carry the same frenzy in their bodies that their New York counterparts did.

Clapping his hands together once, he addressed today’s group of seventeen. The class reached capacity at twenty, but one thing Gregory’s Italian students did share with others around the world was the propensity of a few select people to be absent on days when quizzes were being given. “What did you think of the ending of The Dead? Was it satisfying? Did Joyce tie up the loose ends in the ways you expected?”

“Professore, what are these lose ends, as you say?” Alberto’s English was not as strong as that of the rest of the class. The class was to be taught in English, but Gregory often had to explain colloquial American phrases to the locals in their native tongue. Gregory sometimes marveled at his own situation—born and raised in New Jersey, but now teaching Irish literature to Italian undergrads.

“It is an expression, Alberto. Did Joyce give all of the information that you, as a reader, desired? This is something for you all to keep in mind, classe, as you do today’s quiz. In two pages, explore what Gabriel and Gretta can teach us about the nature of love. Begin now.”

                                                                                               ***

Cara’s cell rang just after lunch. The corner of the empty pizza box dangled over the edge of her desk, taking up more space than warranted by the single slice it had housed. Her notes were splayed in a fan-like pattern across her desk as Raphael’s La Fornarina eyed her curiously through her laptop screen. She hesitated just long enough before grabbing the phone. Only she would notice its multiple rings.

“Hey...” Her tone softened as she redirected her attention.

“So, I was thinking, how about I make that quinoa dish you like for dinner and we can catch a movie?” Gregory’s deep, calming voice had always had a slightly hypnotic effect.

“Uh. Yeah…that would be great. I won’t get home until seven though,” Cara responded.

“That’s fine. Your feast shall await,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh by the way, can you check in on Signora Pastore? I meant to see if she needed anything.” Cara’s mind drifted to their neighbor who recently had had surgery.

“Sure, see you tonight, love you,” Gregory replied.

“You too.”

He never asked why it took her an hour to get home when they lived ten minutes away and she finished at six. She never volunteered. Cara had been the nurturer until last fall, always giving and trying to please. Fate had reversed their roles. Grief is not an equalizer, but a reorganizer.

                                                                                               ***

At five after six, Cara left work and headed in the same trajectory as she did every day. At seven after six, Gregory knocked on Signora Pastore’s door. At six fifteen, Gregory’s phone rang. It was Cara’s number, but not her voice. Instead a woman said in broken English, “Signor, your wife has been injured. She promise she is okay, but we wait for you. Come to Chiesa degli Arcangeli.” Later, Gregory could not remember hanging up his phone, whether he said goodbye to Signora Pastore or running towards the church.

                                                                                               ***

Cara hadn’t seen the two teenage boys run up behind her. Their first meeting was one of physical connection. One slammed into her left side, knocking her to the ground. Her knees throbbed as she heard one of the boys laughing. Her palms stung. She remained frozen on the ground as they made their getaway. She began to weep, not only for this fall, but the one that came before, the one that took her future, their future.

Gregory dashed up to Cara and a middle-aged woman sitting beside her on a bench, handing her tissues. Cara started sobbing again when she saw him.

“Some kids pushed me and I fell. It caught me by surprise,” she explained. Gregory examined her wounds, and confident they weren’t serious, placed his arm around his wife. She rested her head on his chest, his chin nuzzling the back of her wavy hair. They sat wordlessly for an eternity of moments.

“She would have almost been here by now.” Cara’s whisper broke the silence. Michaela had been due on the first day of spring.

“I know, I know. . .” Gregory said softly, kissing the top her head. “Let’s go home.”

As they walked up the uneven cobblestone alley into the darkness, Cara noticed that Signora Pastore’s light was still on. A tiny green bud in the flower pot by her door stood like a sentinel, a harbinger of all that was yet to come.


Written by: Lauren Jonik
Photograph by: Jennifer Stevens

Assumption

Posted on: March 20, 2014


Do I feel bad? Of course I feel bad. I mean, what kind of heartless soul wouldn’t? You would have to be a monster, an unfeeling deviant of the most malicious kind, not to feel a little sorrow. But I still maintain it wasn’t my fault. Not entirely my fault anyway.

It was the third day of my freshman year when Miss Johnston first took me to task in front of the class. Well forewarned about her rigidity, I knew that my tardiness would not be tolerated, but the degree of her indignation was as shocking as the shrill timbre of her voice.

“Jacob Abbott, if you do not have the courtesy to show up on time, you will not be in this class long. Take yourself to the principal’s office.”

“I’m sorry Miss Johnston. My last class is…” I tried to catch the breath that was stolen from me by the three flights of stairs I had just bounded up.

“I do not care what your last class is, nor for any other excuses. Advanced placement classes are an honor and a privilege.”

“Please Miss Johnston, I swear…”

She cut me off with a sharp smack of her pointing stick onto her desk.

“Lest you forget young man, I taught both of your brothers and I taught your father. I know what ilk you Abbotts are, and I assure you it is not the advanced placement kind. You are walking a very fine line here. Be on time tomorrow. Good day, Mr. Abbott.”

She flashed a curt sardonic smile and I closed the door, shutting with it the notion that my good deeds had outrun my family’s tainted legacy. Miss Johnston apparently didn’t believe that some apples could indeed fall far.

Jean Johnston was an institution here in Magnolia, even more so than the block-long brick building of Gerald R. Ford High School in which she had taught for so long. So long in fact, that when she taught her first class, the eponymous Mr. Ford was still twenty-six years away from his rapid ascendance to the Presidency. Back then the school was known as Hall County High, and Harry Truman was Commander in Chief. Through ten more presidents, through Korea, Vietnam and Desert Storm, through desegregation and the civil rights movement, surviving Miss Johnston became a teenage rite of passage. For fifty-five long and arduous years, Miss Johnston hawkishly patrolled the hallways and made life hell in room 301.

In those first few years, there was much speculation around town about Miss Johnston. She came up to Magnolia from Charleston, answering an ad in the Ledger for teachers. When asked about her family, she would only divulge that they had passed on. She joined the Methodist church, but didn’t participate in the all day affair of communion and community. Miss Johnston was only interested in the message, arriving just before the sermon and leaving just as quickly.

Adding to the speculation was her self-imposed spinsterhood. Twenty-two and single when she arrived, it was surmised around town that she would be married quickly. Suitors came from all around Magnolia, only to be sent on their way. Behind closed doors, the old guard of Magnolia bandied about terms like “uppity” and “snobbish” and even whispered of the love that dare not speak its name.

But as the years progressed, so did the attitudes and values of the townsfolk. The chauvinism of the forties and fifties erupted into the personal liberation of the sixties and seventies. And by the turn of the century, an aloof, seemingly asexual, professional woman wasn’t quite the scandal that it once was. Miss Johnston was mostly forgotten, except by us, the scarred students left in her wake.

After the dressing down I had received two months prior, I made it a priority to arrive to class early. One day, the sight of Miss Johnston conferring with Principal Rogers at her desk greeted me. As the other students filed in, he handed me a note.

“What do you know about this, Jacob?”

It featured a rough caricature of a batty old woman. Written underneath was Miss Johnston IS Miss Emily.

I had to stifle a laugh. We had just finished reading Faulkner’s “A Rose for Emily”, his classic tale about the death of an eccentric elderly southern woman.

“Miss Johnston found this on her floor yesterday,” said Principal Rogers.

“The AP class is the only class that is reading that story. He…” She came around the desk and got in my face. “Is the only one capable of doing such a despicable thing.”

“What?” I was exasperated. “I didn’t draw that. Look at it. That’s some pretty feminine handwriting.”

“I know you did it, you little punk.” Her voice dripped with scorn. “You may have all of the others fooled, but you can’t fool me.”

I tried to appeal to Principal Rogers.

“See, this is what she does, what she has been doing all semester. She assumes that because my last name is Abbott that I am the only one is this class capable of doing anything wrong!”

I turned back to face my accuser.

“I am not anything like my brothers… I am not close to my brothers… I have no idea what it is that they did to you that you obviously can’t get over, but I am sick of it!”

“You are vermin, just like them,” she hissed.

Vermin?

“I didn’t draw it, but you know what? I agree with it. And I bet everyone else here does too. YOU ARE A CRAZY OLD BITCH.”

Her pointing stick came whistling through the air and smacked me right across my cheek, leaving a gash under my left eye. She realized immediately what she had done. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh my… I’m… I’m…”

She fled the room as fast as her seventy-seven year old body could go.

By the end of the day the entire school was abuzz with what happened. Miss Johnston was suspended indefinitely. I was sent home and told to take a couple of days off, so I wasn’t there the next morning when they found her, sitting at her desk.

They couldn’t say for sure it was suicide, though that’s what most of the people around here thought. The autopsy proved inconclusive, and she left no note. Unless you count the blackboard. Scrawled across it, in varying degrees of legibility, was just one repeated phrase. Not a rose for Emily, my darling dear.

Me? I guess I like to think that she was a tired old woman who had just lost the only thing that she had ever had, and that she died of a broken heart. That way it wasn’t my fault.

Written by: Ben Cook
Photograph by: Emily Blincoe

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